- Monday was a busy day of putting some finishing touches on my message for Wednesday, getting all the graphics ready for Wednesday, and doing some reading while at The Bagel Shop in the Northeast. Throw in volunteering at Wayside at lunchtime and travel time, and that took up most of the day.
- Tuesday was a day spent at the office, finishing up some final details for Wednesday, rehearsing my message, then spending the late night (8-10 pm is late night for me! =) ) with the band as they rehearsed for Wednesday night.
- I hardly slept on Tuesday night because I was so excited/slightly nervous about preaching on Wednesday.
- I took a good portion of Wednesday rehearsing my message again for that night, and reworking the timeline for the Northeast campus. I left the office early, at 3 pm, to come home and post a campus update on my blogs (the firewall at the DSC office won't allow me to access MySpace) and take a nap. After that, I went back to the DSC East campus to meet the band for rehearsal at 5:30 pm, and then get things going at 7 pm.
- In the 20 minutes or so between when the band finished rehearsing and when it was time to start, I was SO nervous and anxious. I couldn't sit still and I was ready to get going but once Walter started things up, the Spirit of the Lord just fell on us and the band started going and all my anxiety and fear flooded out of me and a calm just overcame me. Even in the moment when I walked up to the front of the stage and started talking, I felt calm and peace. Sure I forgot some parts of my message, sure I said "uhh" and my tongue got caught a few times when I first started - but I could definitely feel God with us, and I think Walter, the band, and everyone else there felt His presence with us and in us.
- Afterwards I was so self-conscious and had many people tell me how good I was, but I kept thinking "they're just trying to make me feel good, because you always tell a preacher that was a good message", but that was stupid of me because it was all about me. A message is not about the human speaker, but about God being glorified. I trust and believe that He was pleased and that He was exalted, and honestly, that's all that matters.
- I took Thursday off and relaxed, ran some errands, watched a movie, and then went to the Mix that evening. Afterwards, Rick, Kristin, Alicia and I went to Village Inn and chilled for a bit. We spent most of the time trying to see if Jordan Mueller really did leave a profession of love comment on Taylor Swift's Facebook page.
- On Friday I drove up to Ruidoso and spent some time reading, relaxing, and starting to reconnect with God. Honestly, I was pretty close to burning out and knew I needed to get away and begin to heal and start getting things straight in my life. I was kind of at a crisis point. While I was up there, I really struggled with some spiritual temptation, had to face some truths about how the only one to blame for my spiritual condition was myself, and had to start planning ways to get myself out of the muck I had gotten myself in.
- While I know I have to take action, ultimately it's the Lord that pulled me out:
"I waited patiently for the LORD; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD." - Psalm 40:1-3
- On Saturday early afternoon, I saw a few sights around Ruidoso but spent a good portion of time at Bonita Park, the place where I went youth camp several years in a row and the place where I committed my life to Christ. Memories flooded my mind as I drove around the different parts of the camp and thought back on how God has been working in my life even so many years ago. I was such an insecure, lonely, depressed kid back then but even then, God was with me and was working in me. And as I sat there I knew in that moment that the Lord was with me wasn't through with me yet.
- So as I drove back on Saturday afternoon (getting back in El Paso in time to vote), I just took some time to worship God through singing along with my ipod to some awesome Hillsong songs.
- And this morning, the ladies led our Sunday morning worship celebrations, I got to spend some time reading, and got to take some time to talk with some friends of mine. Afterwards, we had a good Mother's Day lunch at our house, then watched The Express, then it was nap time!
- And now, I'm feeling refreshed and I've reconnected with God, and I'm excited and ready for a new week!
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