One year.

On November 8th, 2009 - one year ago this Sunday - we held our first worship celebration services at Del Sol Church Northeast.

I vividly remember what it felt like that morning when I pulled into the parking lot. I remember what it felt like when we had finished rehearsing and prayed up and began to pace around, nervous as could be, wondering if anyone would even show up! I remember what it felt like at 9:29 am when it was one minute away from beginning our first service. I remember when I stood up for the first time and began to preach my first message there.

I can summarize in one word how I felt it all: TERRIFIED. 

And now, one year later, I can still summarize in one word how I feel: GRATEFUL. 

Seriously. 

A year later we've got a much better handle on things now programatically speaking. Our services run pretty smooth, for the most part. Our kids ministry team does a phenomenal job - where kids don't want to leave because they enjoy it so much. We've had GrowGroups start up and are seeing people really open up and began to experience true Biblical community. We've served the community like crazy! We have THE best weekly and once-a-month volunteers that you'll find in any church. And I'm very grateful for all of that.

But more than anything I'm mind-blowingly grateful that God would, for reasons I just don't understand, use me and work through me and allow me to lead as a part of His beautiful bride, the Church. I simply don't understand that. I think about all my faults and sins and don't understand why so many people would follow my lead and go along with me on this journey to Love God, Love People, and Serve the World in Northeast El Paso. I'm astounded.

I just don't understand it all, but it's very humbling, and I'm VERY grateful.

Thank You my wonderful Lord Jesus for everything You've done through Del Sol Church Northeast in this year since we began this crazy journey. Thank You for leading us. Thank You for giving us vision and direction. Thank You for sending people who are far from God to us so we can lead them back to You. And more than anything, thank You for using me. I am so far from perfect. I can be such a sinful idiot. And yet, You still choose to pick me up, dust me off, and work through me. Thank You, my God.

It's been a long day ...

Today started at 5:30 am for me. I got up, showered, ate, and headed off to meet my dad at Providence hospital and sit with him while he was waiting for his procedure. We waited for about two hours before he was taken in to the surgical suite. 

I'll be honest - I was doing ok up until after they wheeled my dad away into surgery. When I sat down in the waiting room, surrounded by strangers, I fought to keep from crying. I didn't know if I would ever see my dad again. Thankfully I had brought my computer and some books with me so I was able to start working and take my mind off things. 

After being in the waiting room for awhile and texting friends and family to give them updates, I walked down the street about a block away to the Baptist Student Ministry building where I was able to do some more work using their free wifi. It was good to be out of the hospital setting and to just dive into my work. 

By 11:15 am it was time to go back and get an update on my dad. I went back to the waiting room and about 15 minutes later, the doctor came out to tell me the good news that everything went well, they were able to clean out the clogs in his legs, and he would most likely NOT need another surgery.

Not long after that they called me back to walk along as they wheeled my dad to his recovery room. That was pretty difficult too, seeing him asleep on the bed with all the tubes and such all over the place. I could hardly look at him. We got to the recovery room and since he was asleep, I was gonna just hold his arm and say  goodbye - but he woke up so I was able to tell him the outcome of the procedure, and that I love him. He'll be staying overnight in the hospital and I'll pick him up tomorrow, mid-day.

As I walked to my truck, I felt like for the first time in days I was able to breathe again. The stress and anxiety seemed to melt off my shoulders and I was able to relax. I went to the office for a meeting and for what I thought would be just a couple hours of work. I ended up being there til about 5 pm. Naturally, I was little more than a semi-functioning zombie by the time I left the office.

I got home, wanting to take a nap but seemed to be glued to the couch in which I had sat down on to watch TV. Around 5:45 I got up, staggered to my bed, and passed out for about an hour. Then I woke up, showered, and went to get some dinner. Then I gassed up Sam, my truck, and came home. And here I am. And I am SO ready for bed and SO VERY ready for my day off tomorrow.

It's been quite the day, and I hope it's the kind of day I never have to live through again for many years.

Fear.

There are several things I fear in life. Some are irrational, trite, and small fears; some are significant, profound, and I think many would understand why I fear those things.

I'm very afraid of needles, snakes, and insects. Also, I'm a little afraid of heights. Falling off a roof and busting my knee last spring certainly didn't help with that one!

But there are some more significant things I fear.

- Cancer. Honestly, this is something I fear tremendously. I've seen my grandpa die from this, I've seen many others battle it - some have won from an earthly perspective and were given more life on earth; others experienced true victory left this earth, going Home to be with out Lord. Honestly, cancer is something I really, truly fear - and I hope to never get that vile, wicked, stupid disease.

- My parents growing older. Kind of going along with the cancer thing, sometimes I see my parents getting older and I fear what will happen if one of them gets cancer or some other debilitating disease. Or if from mere old age they become unable to care for themselves. I fear what will happen then; will I be able to care for them or not? What will we do when the time comes for my mom or dad to go Home to be with the Lord?

- Being disqualified from ministry. Nobody is above being decimated by one stupid, sinful choice. Ministry leaders especially are prone to spiritual temptation and failure because of the intense nature of the job and because of increased spiritual attack that comes with the work. I hear of pastors who are in ministry for decades and decades, and I pray and hope and fear not a little bit that I will some day fall into the trap of sin, embarrass the Lord and His Church, and be disqualified from ministry.

When I fear, it can be intense. If I leave it unchecked, it can be overwhelming and disabling. In my younger years, I let fear steal away many of my days. So in order to conquer my fear through the power of God, I have memorized and constantly go back to this one amazing verse:

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." - 1 John 4:18

Perfect love drives out fear. It casts out fear. It hurls it away from us like you would throw a rock across a room or projectile vomit several feet away. So just what is perfect love? It's the love of God. I mean, what love could be more perfect than the love of God that compelled Him to do whatever it took and go to the most extreme lengths to bring us back to Him? If the cross of Jesus Christ doesn't give you tremendous confidence in our God, then I just don't know what will.

So when I fear, I remember that there is no fear in love. I remember that God's perfect love drives out my fear. I remember that fear is not from God; it's from stupid satan. I remember that God did not give me a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7), that I can do everything through Him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13), and I remember that the same power then conquered the grave lives in me (Romans 8:11).

So when I take my focus off my fear and put it on the Word of God, fear loses it power over me and it just fades away into the past.

Like the old bumper sticker says: "No Jesus, no peace. Know Jesus, know peace". It's cliche, but it's very true. Perfect love drives out fear.



What do you fear? How do you deal with your fear?

charity: water

Look at this infographic, then go to http://www.charitywater.org and get involved.

100% of any money you donate goes to providing clean water to the people in our world who don't have it. Yes, 100% of your money!

5 Months

That's about how long it's been since I last blogged. So much has gone on, I won't try to recap it. But I will try to begin to blog more regularly - at least once or twice a week.

So let's see what God will do with this thing! Thanks for reading.

Because of them.

Because of them, I slept soundly last night without any fear of a foreign army invading my city.

Because of them, I went to the gym this morning without even thinking twice about it.

Because of them, I was able to mow my own lawn without fear of my piece of land being confiscated without recompense.

Because of them, I was able to paint my front door without worrying that it will ever be broken down by gestapos.

Because of them, I'm able to post this without fear of it being monitored by the government, censored by them, or taken down because they do not like the views I express here.

Because of them, our Constitution has been protected and still guarantees me many freedoms I take for granted.

Because of them, you and I say and do hundreds things every single day in freedom, without fear of the government or any foreign enemy.



Over one million men and women of every race and creed have given up their lives for the sake of freedom, for the sake of this great country, and for our sake. May we never, EVER forget their sacrifice.

To all who have ever sacrificed for our great country: thank you.

I have a dream.

So we all know the most famous line from Martin Luther King Jr. - "I have a dream ..."

Do you?



Seriously. Do you have a dream? Mr. King had a dream, a dream that he died for. A dream that has mostly become a reality in the generation that came after him.

It's amazing how powerful a dream can be - powerful enough to cause someone to lay down their life for it.

I've had a dream for awhile. I don't know how to bring it to fruition, I don't know how much it'll cost, I don't know the details - I don't even know what the first step might be - but I know it's a dream that could be used to make a huge impact for God's Kingdom and could really help people in their time of need.

Here's the dream: a mobile help center. Imagine with me; you have a crisis at your home, like a water pipe bursting and flooding your home, or a house fire or God forbid, a murder in your home. Or anything really that causes you to be in a crisis. You call 911 and the appropriate first responders show up but not long after them, another group shows up: the service team in their mobile help center.

This RV or trailer pulls up in front of your home with the people and resources ready to help solve your crisis as much as is humanly possible.

- If your home is flooded they bring shop vacs to clean up the water and vacuum our furniture, tools to remove ruined drywall, a fresh supply of groceries, a place to wash & dry clothes, etc.

- If there's a murder in your home, this team has all the equipment necessary to clean up the scene after the police are finished so that you don't have the clean up the spilled blood.

- If there's a fire - food, pillows & blankets, clothes, toiletries, toys for the kids, etc.

- It would be versatile enough that it could be used even when a crisis isn't occurring; it would also be used for blood drives, food drives, health fairs, service projects, etc.

Sure, other churches have done something similar to this. And the Red Cross offers some of these services. But I'm imagining a mobile help center, stored in a warehouse with a variety of supplies in stock, that is versatile enough to meet nearly every need a person might have and that can be there right away to help. It would also be used in months following a crisis to help people for the long haul - not just a few days or weeks.

And most importantly, this would all be done with the love of Jesus in the Name of Jesus.

This would probably cost a lot to start and maintain, and it would require some well-trained, committed team members who could be on call 24/7, but I think it's doable. This dream surely requires some fine tuning, but I think it's definitely doable.



What do you think - any thoughts?